before i let you go
by Natarle
Summary: “You told me you’d always be here by me. Where are you now huh?” Finally, the tears I tried so hard to hold back for this night had flowed freely. My eyes hurt already. And here I thought I had no more tears left. “You’re a liar.”


» This is what boredom brings to me... I write short ficcies... wahahaha.. This song was so stuck in my head this day though I don't exactly know why.. By the way.. thanks for those who reviewed on Where I Belong.. I really appreciate your comments.. I'll be updating as soon as I sort the events in my head.. Anyway.. here's another fic for you to read.. Enjoy.. R&R..(",)

**Before I Let You Go**

I sat in my room wearing a gloomy look on my face. It has been a well year since Ai-er-Ranma and Akane got together. I stood up for a fight but it was all for naught. Great-grandma and I didn't leave Japan though. She said it was not safe to return to the village yet. Here we are in Nerima. And it has been a good eight months since 'he' left me. I couldn't blame him for leaving though. I pushed him away, thinking for myself that Ranma is the only one for me. Why have my eyes been clouded so much with chasing Ranma that I failed to notice his struggle to get my attention? I give too much mind to making Ranma my husband though he'd been there since before I met Ranma. And on those times, he'd always been there by my side, whether I take notice or not.

_ I can still remember yesterday,_

_We were so in love in a special way._

_And knowing that you loved me made me feel oh so right. _

Sigh. Things will never be the same for me. Not anymore. Great-grandma is the only person left with me. But she's always busy. I'll help her around the Nekohanten but I would always imagine him there, giving me his usual smile, his side-glances, his help, his... just himself. He'd be so clumsy at times and I'd get annoyed.

-----------Flashback----------

"You stupid. Why'd you trip??! Is it so hard to serve a tray of food?" People were looking at us. I spoke in Chinese and I doubt that they understood what I said. Could you blame me for getting irritated to the stupid boy in front of me?

"Xian Pu, I'm so sorry. I... It's just... I was..." He stuttered for something to say. Sigh. This guy could be so annoying!

"If you can't be much of a help, stay put in a corner and... just stay there."

"But I want to help you. Please."

"Ok. Just shut up and get back to work. And be careful."

----------End flashback----------

_ But now I feel lost don't know what to do._

_Each and every day I think of you._

_Holdin' back the tears I'm trying with all my might. _

He wasn't stupid, just clumsy. I was the stupid one to have said those words to him. Well he was quite annoying at the time and I couldn't help myself. But still...

_ Because you've gone and left me standing all alone._

_And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own._

_But baby, before I let you go, _

_I want to say I love you._

_I hope that you're listening cause it's true, baby_

_You'll be forever in my heart,_

_And I know that no one else will do._

_So before I let you go, I want to say it..._

_I love you. _

He might not be the most careful person or even the greatest fighter or the best person around but he was... him, and that's all I need of him. How I wish he'd come back. But how could he? Why would he? After all, I was the one who pushed him away, I was the one who hurt him, I was the cause of... all this. He could be much happier without me but the very thought hurts me deep. I wish he'd come back to me. I miss him.

_I wish that it could be just like before,_

_I know I could've given you so much more._

_Even though you know I'd given you all my love._

_I miss your smile, I miss your kiss._

_Each and every day I reminisce. _

_Cause baby it's you that I'm always dreaming of..._

And now I sit here, alone, reminiscing certain events that led to how I fell in love with him without noticing it.

----------Flashback----------

I easily fell asleep this evening; I guess all the chasing got the better of me. As I sleep images formed in my mind. Mother. Why? Why have you left me? At an early age you died. Why did they take you away? I miss you so much. Mother.

"MOTHER!" I shivered. I did not know if it was from the coldness of the night or from the fear I felt as I reminisce how she died. I cried. It hurt.

"Xian Pu, what's wrong?" He barged in my room. I looked at him, tears still falling down my cheeks, and he was wearing that... look... in his face. I found it amazing how he found his way here in the dark without his glasses. "Did you... have a... nightmare?"

I turned away from him and buried my face in my hands. I felt so alone in the world. Suddenly I felt his arms around me, pulling my body close to him. He murmured soothing words to me but I couldn't stop the tears. "Sshhh... it's ok, I'm here. Don't worry." He pushed me a little away from him and looked at me, concern written all over his face. His eyes seemed to have an effect on my tears that they stopped falling. He was smiling down at me and I felt sleepy again. I think he noticed this for he pulled me to him again.

"You better get some rest. I'll stay here a bit longer, just in case." I was dozing off but heard his last words all too clearly, "Don't worry, you're not alone, I'll always be here for you."

----------End flashback----------

_ Because you've gone and left me standing all alone._

_And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own._

_But baby, before I let you go, _

_I want to say I love you. _

_I hope that you're listening cause it's true, baby _

_You'll be forever in my heart, _

_And I know that no one else will do. _

_So before I let you go, I want to say it... _

"Liar." I managed to say out loud without my tears falling. It's too hard to think that everybody's left me. It's too much for me to handle things on my own. I may have been an independent woman but when it came to matters of the heart, I was helpless. Always helpless.

"You told me you'd always be here by me. Where are you now huh?" Finally, the tears I tried so hard to hold back for this night had flowed freely. My eyes hurt already. And here I though I had no more tears left. "You're a liar."

_ Cause letting love go is never easy._

_But I love you so, that's why I set you free..._

_And I know, someday, somehow, I'll find a way_

_To leave it all behind me. Guess it wasn't meant to be _

"It's all my fault. I shouldn't have hurt you, I shouldn't have..." I looked up at the sky and slowly reached my hand to the cold glass of the window. "It's time to let this feeling go. I have to move on, you have to move on. I'll let you go now. After all, you left me. But I want you to know, Wo ai ni." I continued to cry. It hurt so much to let it go. To let him go.

_ Before I let you go, I want to say I love you._

_I hope that you're listening cause it's true, baby_

_You'll be forever in my heart, and I know that_

_No one else will do._

_So before I let you go, I want to say it. _

"That hurt, you know. I'm not a liar. I always was with you, at least my heart was." My head shot up. His figure was reflected through the window. It was dark and showed only his silhouette but I am sure it was him. I slowly turn my head to face him, tears trickling down my face. I stood up and carefully made my way to him, afraid he'll disappear once I get to him. I wasn't sure if I was imagining things or he was really here, here with me.

"You. "I slowly raise my hand to his face. "Tell me you're really here."

He grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating. "I'm here. Always was, and always will be. I'll never leave you again. Wo ai ni, Xian Pu."

I flung my arms around him and continued to cry. "Why did you leave me? I missed you."

""Sshhh... it's ok, I'm here. Don't worry." Those were the same word he told me when I had my nightmare. "Don't worry, you're not alone, I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you, wo ai ni." He held me. I felt safe, complete at last. Finally there's a reason to smile again.

_ So before I let you go, I want to say... _

Thank you so much... Mu Tsu...

_ I love you... _

I guess there's no need to let go after all.

**A/N:**

What do you think? Like it or Hate it? I accept any comments... Well this is my first Shampoo-Mousse fic so please be kind to me... (",)


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